Russia Did What To Ru-BAE-o?!

It’s Thursday. 1:30-something and I’m scrolling through my Instagram, until I see a video from TIME: “Russia might have hurt Marco Rubio’s presidential campaign.”

Alana Abramson reported: “Russia’s overt media outlets sought to sideline opponents on both sides of the political spectrum,” said Clint Watts, a fellow at the Foreign Policy Research Institute. “Senator Rubio, in my opinion, you suffered through these efforts.”

This cannot be true.  Ru-BAE-o, as he has been referred to by myself and my friends since his endearing little face first appeared on the television lunging for a water bottle, could have made it past the primary? My write-ins could have been worth it?!  I also feel personally betrayed by Russia. I’ve been using this whole Russian hacking conspiracy as a comedy routine in my improv group for months.  “Anya Russian Spy”–who is definitely not close personal friends with Vladimir Putin–makes an appearance almost weekly.

I have a lot of conspiracy theories, ranging from pretty likely to some Da Vinci Code type stuff, and this has just reaffirmed so many of them.

If you demand more information go here:

My progression of emotions reading this news:

rubio 1

rubio 2

rubio 3

rubio 4

It’s okay…I’ll just drink some water to cool off…

rubio water.gif



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